10 Funny ONLINE QUOTES by Rodney Dangerfield

10 Funny ONLINE QUOTES by Rodney Dangerfield.

Rodney Dangerfield was born Jacob Cohen on Long Island, NY in 1921. He was a legendary comedian, actor, and screen writer. My favorite comedian of all time, Mr. Dangerfield was instrumental in giving a platform for other comedians to showcase their talent. Mostly self deprecating, Rodney Dangerfield passed away on October 5th, 2004.

Here are 10 Funny ONLINE QUOTES by Rodney Dangerfield. Be sure to check out his act on YouTube after reading his quotes.

1“I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.”

2. “Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.”

3. “I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!”

4. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

5. “I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!”

6. “My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

7. “My psychiatrist told me I’m crazy. I told him “If you don’t mind I’d like a second opinion.” He said “Alright, you’re ugly too!”

8. “Well with girls I don’t get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said “Are you Louise?” She said, “Are you Rodney?” I said, “Yeah.” She said, “I’m not Louise.”

9. “I don’t get no respect, are you kiddin’? The time I got hurt. On the way to the hospital, the ambulance stopped for gas.”

10. “A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.”

Watch his performance at the Johnny Carson Show and enjoy the hand gestures, smile, and timing of these two comedic giants.

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